Arrange Marriage…(un)defined

First Comes Marriage, Then Comes Love

“Marriage only brings a woman closer to man, and they become friends in a special sense, never to be parted either in this life or in the lives to come.” – Mohandas K. Gandhi

Some people are fortunate enough to have found their soul-mates while others have their soul-mates selected for them. In South Asia and the Middle East, arranged marriages are preferred over love marriages, which is the predominant system in the West.People of the West reason that only the person who is to marry can decide whom s/he wishes to spend the rest of his/her life with, which leads to a successful marriage. On the other hand, people of South Asia and the Middle East claim that the elders of the family have the final say over the marriage for they have seen the world and know that a successful marriage is not just a uniting of two people, but of two families.

What is a marriage? Dictionary definition….a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.”

What is an arranged marriage? It is usually perceived as a marriage that one is being forced into but, in all truth, it is not. It is a merging of not only two people, but of two families through the process of agreement. Now, in today’s modern world, there are two types of arranged marriages: arranged-love marriages and pure-arranged marriages. An arranged-love marriage is where the couple loves one another and wishes to marry, receiving the permission and advice of their respective parents and family elders. Here, caste and dowry are not as important as status, both economic and social, and family reputation. A pure-arranged marriage is followed by a specific, traditional procedure: the man’s parents investigate the girl’s family history and caste before beginning any talks with her parents. The man’s family checks to see if the girl’s family is of the same caste, has relatively the same social and economic status, is of a reputable family and has no physical or mental disabilities or deformities.

Arranged marriages are not as cruel as they are viewed. The arranged system is one that both peacefully and lovingly unites not only two people but two families, showing that having one’s soul-mate selected for him/her is not all that bad. Those who willingly go through an arranged marriage know the rules and expectations of such a union helps them in making their marriage last – a quality that is lacking in many Western marriages, since over fifty per cent of them end in divorce. As Gandhi stated, a successful marriage is one that the couple will relive time and time again because “matches are made in Heaven.

I found this very interesting “Tips of Arranged marriage” :
www.sulekha.com/groups/postdisplay.aspx?cid=261248&forumid=756919
Ending couldnt be any better… Never do anything to others that you don’t like for yourself..

so easy & thought provoking to read… is it that easy to follow ?

Marketing Concepts

Professor at a University was explaining Marketing Concepts:

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I am very rich.Marry me!”
That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
“He’s very rich.Marry him.”
That’s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and
say “Hi,I’m very rich.Marry me.”
That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m very rich.Will you marry me?”
That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, “You are very rich..”
That’s Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I’m rich.Marry me” She gives you a nice hard
slap on your face.
That’s Customer Feedback !!!!!

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I am very rich.Marry me!”
And she introduces you to her husband
That’s Demand and supply gap.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and before you say, “I am very rich.Marry me!”
she turns her face towards you ————

she is your wife !
That’s competition eating into your market share.

Words Inside Our Heart

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature. Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer. I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it. I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.

My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother. I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days. The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend. It’s true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body. Quite a few to flirt, but no one to love. Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.

Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back. I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room.

After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing,

XYZ,
I am looking into the defect and will send the patch files before EOD. 😉

(This was sent by a friend: Often times, we find ourselves looking back over the years we have spent and we find ourselves missing those times. Actually NOW has always been the best time for change)