uncertainty (un)defined

…I think it’s much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of uncertainty about different things, but I am not absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don’t know anything about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we’re here. I don’t have to know an answer. I don’t feel frightened not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really is as far as I can tell…
~ Richard Feynman

Living (re)defined

“my life is a perpetual question mark–my thirst for books, my observations of people, all tend to satisfy a great, overwhelming desire to know, to understand, to find an answer to a million questions. And gradually the answers are revealed, many things are explained, and above all, many things are given names and described, and my restlessness is subdued. Then I become an exclamatory person, clapping my hands to the immense surprises the world holds for me, and falling from one ecstasy into another. I have the habit of peeping and prying and listening and seeking–passionate curiosity and expectation. But I have also the habit of being surprised, the habit of being filled with wonder and satisfaction each time I stumble on some wondrous thing. The first habit could make me a philosopher or a cynic or perhaps a humorist. But the other habit destroys all the delicate foundations, and I find each day that I am still…”

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book…or you take a trip…and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”

~ Anias Nin

I try
not just try to live
but I try to live up
live up to the life..

Now (un)defined

As I look behind, path filled with joy,
with experiences that graduated me to a man from a boy,
with little tragedy or guilt
with some clutter of past doubt…
As I try to look ahead into uncertain empty road
and my sight tries to envisions a future as it unfold
with the hope of strong & truth.
As I take the opportunities, the choices that befalls me
and I try to grab the chances that await me…

But I will plead, NOW
and leave the future to the future..

Happiness (un)Defined

I so much wish to understand happiness
the risks that come with it
the confused worry it brings
the uncertain fear of its departure
the mess it leaves behind
the temporary nature of it
the joy it creates in abundance
the love it makes me feel for myself

The great source of both the misery and disorders of human life, seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another. Avarice over-rates the difference between poverty and riches: ambition, that between a private and a public station: vain-glory, that between obscurity and extensive reputation. The person under the influence of any of those extravagant passions, is not only miserable in his actual situation, but is often disposed to disturb the peace of society, in order to arrive at that which he so foolishly admires. The slightest observation, however, might satisfy him, that, in all the ordinary situations of human life, a well-disposed mind may be equally calm, equally cheerful, and equally contented. Some of those situations may, no doubt, deserve to be preferred to others: but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardor which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice; or to corrupt the future tranquility of our minds, either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly, or by remorse from the horror of our own injustice. Wherever prudence does not direct, wherever justice does not permit, the attempt to change our situation, the man who does attempt it, plays at the most unequal of all games of hazard, and stakes every thing against scarce any thing…
~ Adam Smith

Life (un)defined

…do as little as possible, and that unwillingly, for it is better to receive a slight reprimand than to perform an arduous task. The corollary to this is that an awful lot of life’s problems solve themselves if you leave them be…

Pain (un)defined

my thoughts silently scream for these tears.
my fingertips stuck to the keyboard to browse through our photos…
my eyes uncomfortably sown closed allowing no light..

there was little black spot on my sun past week
as she slits her skin to find freedom

its very devastating, painful, hard to take.
yet Life goes on and it must